Horrible AA!!! I couldn't approach a Mexican passed out in the gutter let alone a exquisite woman who could make a blind man cum at three hundred yard across a Walmart parking lot. I couldn't do it. Terrified wasn't the emotion. As scared as any human as ever been in their entire life combined, multiplied by 10 is where I was. Gladly face combat again versus approaching a gorgeous woman and combat sucks,,,, bad.
What's a man to do? Your trying to better yourself. Trying to become somebody, just want to believe your awesome. But you can't lie to yourself, you never believe it. Fake it till you make it didn't work for me. I knew I was fake.
There were three men in my life on a amazing website that were my mentors. Over the years and still today I am amazed at their advice, their goading and once in a while a good bitch slap help make me who I am. In order, OG, SmoothCall and Bravo. Frankly I was a keyboard jockey, I knew everything about PUA but I didn't live it. OG sent me a private message one day and he didn't pull any punches. Still to this day I have the print-out on my bedroom mirror, the only affirmation I have in my house.
I quote, “Quite being such a bitch. Don't give these guys advice when you don't know what the hell your talking about. Get your fucking ass out of your chair and LIVE YOUR LIFE!!” Words I live by, in business, in pick up and in life.
Over the years I grown to love those men, now I wouldn't blow them but I'd pay for it. I know a midget who gives me half price on Tuesdays. Seriously though, the greatest three men I have never met.
So on to my story. Somewhere I read where a guy strapped a dildo on his head then he dressed in a tutu and said 'hi' to everyone in the mall to kill his AA. Sounded easy enough so I decided to do it. I've always been a bit nutz, so why the hell not?!?!?! On a side note, at the time I didn't have a clue where in the hell to buy a dildo, since then I've had my cock cloned and you may have even seen Him on the internet. . . . . . Fuck one midget.............
I did it, I found the dildo, I engineered it to a head band that didn't work. This damn huge purple dildo, (with veins), kept falling down into my face every time I moved. The pink tutu I stole from my daughter when she was twelve. It rode up my cute ass, Lezbo said it looked like a teen girl with braces giving a bj to some gay boy, and the pink dyed pubic hairs were stuck in her steel mouth.
I walked into the mall like this, terrified and ludicrous!
There was a wishing fountain in the middle of the place. A nice crowd was milling around the place. I drew a large breath, threw out my nutz and started saying 'hi' and shaking everyone's hand. The damn dildo kept falling down and hitting me right in the cocksucker, (bad terminology maybe). Asshole teenagers were yelling shit at me, little girls were running scared and cougars looked at the dildo with saliva dripping from their lips. I shook the hands of 78 people that afternoon, until of course the Larimer County Sheriff's office got wind of some crazy fucker in a g-string pink tutu with purple dildo slapping him in the face in the middle of the fashion mall. Apparently that is frowned upon in Northern Colorado. Something about inciting a riot thing, fucking liberals. At least it wasn't some weird sex offense. These days they would have thrown me in prison with bubba and sex therapy for life.
Anyway, my weird stalker bailed my cute ass out, tutu and all. I spent about four hours in the holding cell and was released on a personal recognizance bond. No cash....
Three days later I was talking to some DA about a plea deal, they dropped it to causing a public disturbance. I thought I was fat and happy, nope, the judge thought I needed to be taught a lesson about tying a purple headed dildo on my red head. He sentenced me to three days of public service in the form of 'work-enders'. Two Saturdays and one Sunday I walked along Interstate 25 in a bright ass yellow safety jacket that screamed “LARIMER COUNTY SHERIFFS OFFICE!!!!! on the back. My friends knew exactly where and what I was doing since 90% have done the exact same thing for DUI's and all kinds of other shit. So being the assholes they are, they went screaming up the highway in their truck throwing huge bags of trash out the back and watching them explode upon impact with some pour criminal. They are so fucking awesome!!
Anyway, that was the first of two arrests in my pursuit of PU Artistry. It has been quite a ride.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal standing in the rain.